change the world, change yourself, Aldous Huxley

Active Participant in Life

change the world, change yourself, Aldous Huxley

Last week I talked about my mom and how she’s avoided dealing with things in her life and the consequences of those actions. I’ve watched and learned from her experiences. Of course I’ve also avoided issues in my own life. At various times throughout my life I’ve avoided everything from having a relationship to my finances. Rather than face the truth around these areas, I chose to ignore them or sweep them under the rug.

For years I’d rarely look at my finances or try to understand them. I’d work on a budget once a month and get on track and think that’s all I had to do. I wouldn’t pay attention to it on a regular basis and I’d end up in the same panic the following month.

My brother George is a very successful financial planner and once said that managing your finances is like going to the gym. You can’t just go one day and expect results. You have to go on a regular basis, consistently, over time.

I think everything in life is falls into that description. You can’t ignore your relationship all month and expect one date to make things all better.  You can’t work on your career transition by having one networking interview. You can’t take care of your body by having one healthy meal.

So many people think that they can quickly fix whatever is wrong in their life. Take one course, spend a couple of hours with a counselor, juice fast for a day, or go to the gym for one hour. Life doesn’t work this way. You have to put in the work!

Life is about consistently choosing to be an active participant in all aspects of it.

Yes, you can avoid all of your problems and numb out but the problems don’t go away. Choosing to be proactive about your life is empowering. Take responsibility for the current condition of your life and assess it. Are you living the life you want?   Why not? What needs to change? What can you focus on making better today? Don’t try and do it all. Choose one thing to focus on and think about what it would look like if things were as you’ve dreamed. Take full responsibility for where you are today! Don’t play the blame game. What was your role in getting you to where you are today – the good and the bad? Acknowledge it so you can work on it.

This is what I love about coaching. Helping people take responsibility for their life and watching them make change happen. It’s a lot of baby steps but you still make progress.   As a coach, I get to see people choosing to be an active participant in their own lives. I get to cheer clients along and check-in that they’re on track with what they want.

I’ve had my own coach for seven years. She’s amazing and we’ve worked on everything in my life. I can’t imagine what I would have done without her!

As for my previous financial avoidance, I found that today, I’d rather be knowledgeable & empowered about the state of my affairs than ignore it and hope it gets better on it’s own. I’m more thrilled by fully seeing and knowing my financial status than by ignoring it. I’m excited to be actively making choices that are better for my financial future than having choices put upon me.


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