Three Questions Everyone Should Ask Themselves

Kerstin McInnis, A Cake Walk LifeChoices, Kerstin McInnis, Person Growth, Self-Love, Support4 Comments

Kerstin McInnis, Career Transition Coach

Three Questions Everyone Should Ask Themselves 

This weekend I was in Seattle at the Hay House, I Can Do It Conference.  This was my first time attending one of their events.  The conference brought together 30 Hay House authors and speakers to share their wisdom and insight.  Attending this conference was an opportunity for me to be among so many of my favorite teachers.   With so many amazing speakers and rich content, it’s hard to narrow down all the information but three questions stood out for me.

Am I safe?

What’s driving my decisions?

Where in my life am I running from pain (problems)?

 

Am I safe?

I started the conference a day early by adding on a full day workshop with Cheryl Richardson.  If you’re unfamiliar with her she is a Master Certified Coach with over twenty years of experience and was the first president of the International Coaching Federation.  Cheryl is an advocate of self-care and has written many books on it.  She shared three questions to ask yourself regarding your self-care and the first one really struck me:  “Am I safe?”

Am I safe in my job?  Am I safe in my relationships?  Am I safe financially?

When she asks this question, she isn’t just asking about personal safety or harm to your physical body although that is of course one area.  She’s asking this question on a much broader level and across all areas of your life.

The question of financial safety really struck me as I’ve never hear that question asked in that way.  Am I safe financially?  Am I making choices or living in a way that creates a safe financial environment?  Am I spending recklessly or do I make mindful choices when I spend money.  What about saving?  Is the saving done out of fear or out of joy for the security and ease it will bring?

She talked about this question of safety as a foundation for self-love and life.  If your foundation is unstable, it makes it very difficult to build upon it.  How can you bring more self-love to the areas that feel unsafe?  How can you be a good steward to what you already have financially?  Do you appreciate and give gratitude for what you do have?

Lastly, she shared how we can reduce fear around the scary things in life.  Financial lack or burdens are scary.  We can reduce fear around these issues through connection with others.   As Cheryl said, “We need support to do the scary things”.  Sharing our financial situation with others isn’t a socially accepted norm.  Most people are scared to talk about it on any level for fear of embarrassment.  There’s so much shame around lack of money or financial mistakes.  But there are people you can talk to about financial issues.  They include your partner, a financial advisor, a banker, a credit counselor, a therapist, or a coach.  These people can provide the supportive environment you need to share your fears and create a plan for the future.

 

What’s driving your decisions?

Anita Moorjani is the author of “Dying to Be Me”.  Considered a medical miracle, Anita was in the end stages of cancer when she fell into a coma and learned the importance of self-love.  As she came out of the coma, she knew she was going to be okay and her cancer would disappear.  Within a week, her tumors shrunk by 70%.  She is healthy and well today.

Anita posed the question, “What’s driving your decisions”.  There are only two options that can drive your decisions; it is either out of fear or out of love.  The more we love our selves the more we make decisions from love.   Anita realized that her whole life she had made decisions out of fear, including the food she ate.  For years she ate food, thinking her choices were the best in order to avoid cancer but everything she ate was filled with fear of getting cancer.

How can you love yourself more and make decisions that are filled with love.

 

Where in my life am I running from pain (problems)?

Sonia Choquette is a talented intuitive and spiritual teacher.  I’ve had the joy of attending workshops with her in the past.  She always brings so much light and joy to every session she teaches.  However, over the last six years her life was anything but light and joyful.  She experienced the death of a brother and father as well as the divorce from her husband of thirty years.  When all of this occurred, one after the other, she fell apart into her pain.  She realized how much she had run from in the past and how much she hadn’t allowed herself to feel all her emotions.  In the quest to be spiritual about it, she didn’t allow the authenticity of her emotions to be processed and felt.   She said, “Transformation can’t occur if running from your pain.”

I adore this woman for sharing her story so boldly and honestly.  Yes, I believe in finding the ease in life & I believe that we’re meant to be happy but there are times things are anything but easy & happy.  In those cases and for all the times you’ve denied yourself of feeling, you’ve got to feel and process what’s going on if you want to move forward.   You can’t push it down and expect it to not pop out one day in some massive Vesuvius explosion.    You also can’t spend a couple of sessions with a coach or therapist and expect everything to be solved.  Ask yourself how long you have suppressed these emotions.  Are you worth 10% of your time to unfurl them?  And if you’re thinking to yourself, I’m fine, I don’t suppress any emotions.  Than ask yourself, what’s the one pattern in your life that keeps appearing that you’d like to change?  For example, attracting the same types of relationships or making the same financial mistake.

These three questions should be applied to all areas of our lives.  Asking these three questions can create greater awareness, lead to increased self-love, support decision making, and ultimately help instigate positive change in your life.  Change is inevitable.  Wouldn’t you rather do it from a place of empowerment?

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