Four Tools For Dealing with Internal Conflict

S.C. Lourie

What should I do?  Have you ever asked yourself this question only for it to be followed by a long internal dialogue about pros and cons, rights and wrongs, what ifs and should dos?  It’s like a board room of lawyers are in your head arguing across a table, throwing out possibilities and scenarios.

Most people have experienced this and often as a daily occurrence.  It’s exhausting.

It’s important to survey a situation before making a decision.  There is often information to gather and answers to gain before you can make a decision that is best for you.  However, the internal mental circus isn’t the place to find the answers.  The leaping and jumping over possibilities and scenarios will leave you exhausted and most often with more questions.

So how do you find clarity and answers if it’s not in your head?

Get quiet.  Be patient.  Trust & Faith.  Write it out.  These are my tools and while I’m not always a dedicated student, as soon as I bring myself back to these four tools, I relax.  I feel peaceful.  I can hear the answers.

Get quiet.  It’s simple.  Find a quiet space to sit.  Place your feet firmly on the ground and close your eyes.  Breath.  Feel your feet and feel the breath make it’s way up your legs.  Slowly.  Continue feeling your breath move up your entire body and spill up and over your head.

Be Patient.  Sometimes the answers aren’t meant to come to you immediately.  You might have to wait a day or week or month.  Continue all your efforts with the same enthusiasm and patiently wait for the answers to come.  They will show up – maybe through a friend, a book, a TV show.  Pay attention and you’ll hear them.

Trust & Faith.  I bundle these tools because they go hand-in-hand.  You have to trust that the right answer will appear at the right time.  Trust that things will work out as they’re meant to.  It might look different than you thought but it will work out.  Have faith in that.

Write it Out.  I learned at a young age the benefits of a pro/con list.  While I still enjoy making lists, this is a heady process and our best answers aren’t in our head, they’re in our hearts.  So if you need to, clear your head of the pros and cons.  Write them out.  Then write from your heart.  Journal about your situation.  Share your feelings knowing that this information is just for you.  What does your heart say you should do?

“ from your heart and you will come to realize how perfect everything really is.”





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